Today, I woke to a gray, dreary day. A darkness pressed in. My attempts to hold the heaviness at bay by turning on all the lights proved futile, for at every turn, every window I passed, I saw the grayness crouching right outside my door. Turning to the news or my social media feeds only perpetuated the negativity I felt. The “forecast” was—is—grim.
A pandemic has swept our nation, rather the world, and our lives have been uprooted like a freshly tilled garden. Jobs are in limbo. Finances are in question. Hearts are filled with fear. Worry about the many unknowns run rampant.
After several weeks of being home-bound (are we on week five or six?), I admit to experiencing times of great anxiety, fear and doubt myself. In response, I’ve had to earnestly seek the Lord for direction. I cried out for healing, for peace, for help—for all of us.
Gradually, I started to realize, how is today any different than the days we lived prior to Covid-19?
Before this disease, I woke each day with the same reality. Each of those days could have been my last. Each of those days, I could have lost my job. I could have received a frightening prognosis or got hit by a bus. Each of those days, I could have [fill in the blank with any difficult circumstance you are facing, can imagine or are fearing right now].
It dawned on me, today is the same as every day I’ve woken before all this craziness. I finally realized I’ve had a false sense of security all along. Each day, each step, I took before all “this,” I took in faith with no control over anything and everything life might throw at me. Though I felt more secure, more in control then, my future was uncertain.
Moving forward, I have a pressing choice to make. The choice will affect how I live out my next few minutes, hours and days of my life. I can choose to focus on the gray. The darkness. The pandemic. The “forecast.” Or, I can choose to focus on the gift I’ve been given, the moments I have. Don’t get me wrong. I know there are things to grieve right now—too many for some to count. If that is you, take the time you need to process that grief. Finding joy amidst the pain is never easy. (And, by all means, please email me your prayer requests. I’d be honored to support you and pray for you.)
Several weeks ago, I decided I had enough of the darkness. This is why you may have noticed a stream of “Blessings of the Day” on my social media feed. I’m well aware I’m a bit behind, but I’m keeping track in my journals and updating when I can. This new little habit has forced me to shift my focus from the negative to the positive. Like most, I’ve struggled with this new reality. But I promise you this, when we come out of this season—and this too shall pass—I want to be able to look (or scroll) back and remember that, despite the darkness, the pain, the fear, there were blessings. Oh, so many blessings! And if just one person decides to join me in trying to find at least one blessing every single day of his/her life, I will be thrilled to celebrate with him/her.
I’m learning there is one thing I have complete control over every day. That is my attitude. And this is the day—this gray, rainy, dark day—that the Lord has made, and I will rejoice in it!
Will you choose to join me? I welcome you to share your blessings below.