For most of my 14 years as a mom, I believed my calling was to become the ultimate “Supermom.” Supermoms don’t take breaks. Do they? They don their tights and cape at 6 am and do not quit fighting the battles that prevail even throughout the wee, small hours of the night. Sound crazy? It is. But the other moms are doing it, aren’t they? I know one woman who bakes treats, does crafts and home schools her children. Another I know plays tennis at the club, helps with her husbands’ business and serves on the PTO board. Then there is this one mom that works full-time, taxis her kids to events, leads them in the Lord AND she continues to exude a positive attitude and looks sharp EVERY day. So, I added all their tasks to my list. Fist stretched forward, cape fluttering in the wind, I pursued this goal daily for more than 12 years. Until I hit a wall. My attitude suffered. My energy and spiritual growth deteriorated. Worst of all, my health began to fail.
Upon closer examination, I noticed two very dangerous issues with the way I chose to live out my mommy years:
- My expectation for myself was a composite of MANY women. Not all of them were doing all the things I expected of me. So why on earth did I think I could be ALL these women in one?
- Most supermoms I know find herself at the end of the day with her tights being held together with a gallon of top coat polish, her helmet askew (if she even knows where it is) and her cape mangled and stained from the battles she faced!
What is a supermom to do?
There is only one thing that can make a mom, or a parent, truly “super.” Christ tell us in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest for your soul.” When we spend time with him, we find the strength and refueling we need to handle the calling ahead of us. He equips us for our good work as mother, parent, friend, etc.
For most of my days, I believed that taking that time for me would be selfish. In addition, I felt I did not have the time to give. I learned the hard way that the contrary is true. I do not have the time NOT to care for myself. When I break to spend time in Christ, I notice the time and my focus for the rest of my day is multiplied. I carry with me a sense of peace and guidance. My attitude is better. My energy is stronger. My purpose is clear.
I have learned to call this time self-care, not selfishness. You will become the person your family needs and even wants to be around. I urge you, today, to give yourself a “time out.”