Tears of a Child

Today, I ordered my children’s summer bridge books.  It brought to mind a fond memory from last summer that I wanted to share.  You see, yearly, one of my children in particular begrudgingly does his summer workbook.  I’m sure you are wondering, what kind of mother is she to enforce such an awful requirement? Summer? Workbooks?  I assure you, I have my reasons.

In years past, this summertime exercise has brought about fits of anger, every excuse you can imagine, and many, many, MANY tears.  My darling son poured his heart out to me about how unfair the situation was, how his hand muscles got sore from writing, and “please, please” could I change his fate by writing all his answers in for him.  At first thought, I wanted desperately to ease my child’s suffering.  Who wouldn’t?  After all, we love our children with a love that is hard to put into words.  Certainly, I do not want to bring him suffering.   I pondered how easy it would be for me to sweep in and fix the problem by catering to his request.  However, would I have served him any justice?  Would I help him learn how to persevere?  I knew by continuing to encourage my child to develop his writing skills, it would bring him confidence and prosperity.  I also knew with all my heart that my son would not receive special treatment such as this when he returned to the public school system a few short weeks later.  I realized that “giving in” was not a reflection of my love for my son, but rather “not” giving in revealed how deeply I do love him.

For many years now, I have been bearing a personal burden in my heart.  I, too, have complained to God, questioned His love for me and begged Him to change my situation.  It was with my son last summer that I remembered how God loves me with a love I cannot understand.  Whatever His reasons are for allowing my suffering, it is certainly out of love for me.  Surely, my God CAN fix my situation, but SHOULD he?  Could it be, that I, too, need to develop my ‘spiritual’ muscles so that God can bless me with confidence and prosperity?  Perhaps.  To be truthful, it doesn’t matter as to the why.  He is my Father and I trust Him to make the right choices for me.  I must rejoice in any and all circumstances and hold to the confidence that whatever His purpose, He has my best interests at heart, just as I do for my son.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding..”  Proverbs 3:5 NIV

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